“But he’s got high hopes . . . He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes.” Remember that old motivational song which suggests high expectations can turn the impossible into the possible? Can make a “little old ant” move a rubber tree plant?
High expectations are good, right? Well, when researchers looked into the reason why year after year Denmark’s citizens are found to be the happiest people in the Western world, they concluded that the Danes’ satisfaction is due to their low expectations.
Think about it. If you don’t expect a raise at work, but you are given one, you’re elated. However, if you’re approaching your yearly employee review anticipating a raise and fantasizing about spending that extra cash, and then the boss announces there will be no raises this year, you’re angry, upset and maybe even despondent.
Or you’re hoping your child will pass his math class. He not only passes but receives a “B” grade, and you’re very happy and proud. Your spouse was expecting the child to bring home a stellar “A,” and upon seeing the lower mark is quite disappointed. High expectations are clearly detrimental.
But wait. We’ve been taught that people rise to the level of their expectations. Some talented school teachers instill high expectations in their students and see them accomplish amazing things.
And aren’t low expectations counter to what is taught in the popular movie “The Secret”? Basically, the movie’s message is that if you visualize, as realistically as possible, owning or achieving something (you’re encouraged to dream big), you will make the dream a reality.
Then there is yoga’s teaching that we all possess incredible abilities waiting to be tapped. Anything is possible if you let go of your self-created limitations. It’s sad to see a yoga student approach a difficult pose declaring something like “I’ll never be able to do The Crow!” The statement can surely be a self-fulfilling prophesy.
So, which way do we go? High expectations or low? Reconsider the previous examples. Notice that the high expectations that brought discontent were those that were related to other people’s behavior or to situations beyond the direct control of the individual. Avoid high expectations such as these.
However, when you’re aiming to reach your highest potential, positive thinking and affirmations can be powerful. “I’ve worked hard and will pass the exam.” “I know I can be in peak condition before the race.” “If I keep practicing, I will do The Crow!”
Formulate positive intentions, but don’t become too attached to the outcome. An unexpected outcome might be a blessing in disguise.
If you’re interested in raising your happiness level, examine your expectations. Personal growth and the attainment of personal goals may soar if “high hopes” is your theme. But realize that sometimes a chorus of “Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be will be” is just the ticket.
